AntiVenom7

i will follow your post-***** with my own. that is what the ^^^^ arrows mean. if you post directly after somebody you use those to indicate it is a response to that post.


Also for those in the know. I would assume the MAZADA driver's day on June 16-17 is actually Mazda drivers right?

PerkyStina

just checking. I didn't know if you were responding to the post relating to Phil and the RRDI, or the post that was only about the shop days.

Happy Easter, big brother. (and gooooooooood morning!)

AntiVenom7

Happy Easter!!!

(also, I see what you are saying, you posted like 90 times after the one i saw. hahaha. editing post for a quote. sorry )

AntiVenom7

I think if Eric, felt he was social and respectful with his comments he would not take offense. Eric went out of his way to apologize, and Phil, basically, rubbed his nose in it.

Chris, is as cool cat, that is why he is a member of the group. It is not about the car you drive, or where you are from, but about your attitude.

This is the line I draw. If you are a member of the group, then you can be a little antagonistic. If you aren't, how about you don't come in making demands, and belittling existing members. Give us an idea of who you really are, make some friends, make yourself known, before stirring the pot. Like Eric said, there is no rule, just common courtesy. Same as you would do with any group.

The problem is this is a forum, and everyone feels free to post. I think it should be treated as if you were face to face. Would you barge into a group/club making demands? If you were bold enough to do that, I think the tone in which you made your suggestions would not be brash and demanding. Why would it be different here?

Anyhow, I guess the whole point is this: If you want respect, give respect.


PS: I think we are falling into a vicious cycle on this thread. This all really needs to be talked about face to face. I normally promote the use of this for discussing our group stuff, but think we have hit a place where we cannot resolve the differences online.

PerkyStina

So Josh, explain to me how this was rubbing Eric's nose in it?? This just doesn't seem disrespectful. I've read it like 10 times now and still don't understand what stirred up so much anger.

DGRR is almost here... and then everyone can go on about their business when it's over. It seems like toes have been stepped on enough that, like you said, Josh, cannot be resolved online. It's pointless to have an argument online. Things are often taken out of context, because communication is NOT solely based on the words that we speak, but our tone, body language, etc.

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

You know, I now understand what some of your RRDI people are talking about.
First, I appreciate you appologizing to me... But you need to realize, I mearly posted what I needed to post becuase you have mentioned my name. And secondly I wanted to clearify as you made it sound like I was coming on here without welcome and without purpose. Again, This forum is not for just YOU! Maybe your big ego and immature self think so, but I came on because stuff was pertain to me directly or indirectly to the event. Again, because you brought up my name and other times because of DGRR... I came on here! I guess you still don't see that??

But now you seem very defensive and personal. What you said here, makes it sound like I have no right to do so.. and seem like a personal attack than you understanding my answer to your generalizing of me. I only corrected your false statement and now what.... I'm "sticking nose where doesn't belong" and "acting stupid"?? I guess someone has thinner skin than I.. LOL!

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

Thanks Christina.. I also didn't see me rubbing my nose in it?

My question is.. how should I have responded to Speedjunkie's response? His post was in a form of question and all I did was respond to it with clearification.. So, how should i have responded in a way his sensative heart could take?? What just ignore his false statement and moved on? If I recall, he was quite upset because I didn't respond to his PMs when I was getting over 1000 pm in less than 2 months..

If we are talking about rubbing nose in, I actually thought he did.. falsely stating that I had no right to come on to your thread and saying I'm being rude?? Appologizing means nothing when he misunderstands and comes right back with personal attack calling me that I'm being stupid..

AntiVenom7

When somebody apologizes, you don't kick them again. Generally, you try to accept the apology, let bygones be bygones, and not get on your high horse. I don't really see how Eric rubbed anything in Phil's face, more so he explained why he'd been upset about Phil's original posting. I think this should be worked out between Phil and Eric via PMs.

Honestly, since I am not going to DGRR anymore, I am not going to give my opinion on anything else pertaining to the event. My concern now is to try and be a part of rebuilding/improving RRDI. I really think we need to move past all the, DGRR, Phil, Bert fiasco and move forward to a better future. Just my 2 cents.

Trust me I have no anger towards any of the events that have happened. Phil Sohn mentioned something about thickness of skin; it takes a lot to get under mine.

Like I mentioned, because some people seem to think it okay to post on this thread, just because they can (something I don't agree with, but whatever). I think we should start bringing our ideas/suggestions/problems to light at the meetings, or via PMs.

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

Im not sure how I got myself into this situation.. First, I have no clue who Eric is..

Second, I mearly answered his question he posted.

I even said I understood where he was coming from if it were in different context... ie, if it wasn't pertaining to the event and me.. and since he felt the way he did, I wanted to state why I was responding.. So was I out of the line?? I'm curious how I should of responded to Eric and if you guys think his respond back to me was just?

AntiVenom7

I guess my argument to that is this Phil. He ended his apology by saying this

To me that means, that while he doesn't really like it. He is okay with you posting as long as it is pertaining to DGRR.

Anyhow, I don't know how all this got blown out of proportion. Seems like the whole mood of our group lately has been to take things out of context, take them personally, and get angry about them.

Perhaps, some more time needs to be spent proof-reading responses. i dunno.


EDIT: Also, I wanted to take a moment to thank you Phil, for helping put together the DGRR. I attended the first two, but doubt that I will attend another(if there even is another). However, I really enjoyed it the first two times, and hope this years event goes well, despite all the drama.

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

Well, I sent Eric a PM.. And I appolgize if he misunderstood my responds to his question(s)... My intention was mearly explaining.. and I didn't think he would take it so personal!

I would also like to appologize for those RRDI members if you felt that I was out of line coming on to your forum. Good luck with your group/club and hope to see some of you at the DGRR!

mrthundercleese

GROUP WAR! GROUP WAR EVERYBODY! IT'S GOING DOWN! [reference to southpark episode 1101.... clicky]

edit: had to say more
There is nothing sacred about our RRDI forum topic. There isn't anything wrong with others coming and posting over here. We aren't some kind of separatist group and making that statement kind of makes us sound like one. If we want a forum to our own, we should make one (we had one but noone really used it all that much in the end). We're making a bad name for ourselves with these arguments. No other group is going to want to hang out with us if we keep it up. It's going to end up being 'those guys from Raleigh [insert derogatory phrase of choice]'. Some of you might not care about that, but I do....

Phil came here originally only to request that we all sleep in the same place for DGRR. There was nothing wrong with that. Why? Well..
1. it gives Phil more power to get us better discounts on lodging when more people stay there.
2. (i've said this one time before but ill reiterate) A lot of the fun of DGRR is to hang out with people of similar interests that we do not get to see that often. An easy way to do that is to all be in close proximity of each other. I see you guys all the time .

PerkyStina

Ugh. I was trying to edit a post, but the forum lost my post. grrrrr....

I think the inital thing that got under Eric (Speedjunkie)'s skin was that he felt forced to stay at Fontana, so therefore he wanted to do something that included his closer friends, and he did not feel it was necessary to stay with the rest of the event goers at Fontana Village.

Many people from the RRDI are trying to avoid drama or are just to pissed off at each other... and not going to DGRR now. Unfortunately, the Mansion was going to bully more people into staying there, rather than choose whatever people could financially afford at Fontana Village... a much closer venue to everyone at the event, and the Dragon itself.

We have learned over the past couple of days that the Mansion was a bad idea for this event anyway, for the simple fact that we have some people who like to stay up late and party... and a few who like to sleep and just fellowship during normal hours. Combining such a wide variety of people from the RRDI into one house was going to be much harder this year. We can always reserve the Mansion for a later date as an RRDI event. And perhaps once issues are settled and the drama has subsided, then there will be more of a fellowship in the group than exists at this point.

PerkyStina

Hey get back to me about white water rafting... we MIGHT be able to fit it in our budget... don't know yet.

AntiVenom7

a great episode!


Phil, like I mentioned I think things have had a tendency to get blown out of proportion lately. Thanks again for putting together DGRR. I think the recent problems that our club has had will help us grow. Sorry that you got caught in the crossfire. I think your intentions were good, and you were simply trying to look out for your event.

PerkyStina

There won't be any drama... cuz the drama is staying in Central NC. None of the people involved, and MANY unrelated people are not even GOING to DGRR because they got turned off by the stupid arguments about the Mansion idea, and about this silly drunk driving issue. Unfortunately, those who are not attending will be missing one hell of a good time.

It seems like there are a few outspoken members who got the God-Complex over the past few months, and felt they were in charge of everyone else, rather than questioning their TRUE intentions behind their postings on this thread. I look forward to these issues being resolved, and we are able to learn from them about how to respect ourselves and each other.

PerkyStina

You have not been out of line yet. Everyone is different in how they interpret another's words and presence. Unfortunately, it takes a certain level of maturity to understand a person's real intentions behind their words, as well as trying to question what their real goal is with the words they are about to speak.

It's all about what momma always said: "Think before you speak."

Both Phil and Eric are very cool guys, and it's saddening to see the two guys bump heads to this extent. I wish this to eventually work itself out and the dispute to end.

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

Christina.. I'm just responding to this and hope you or others don't take it personal (I think I have to start stating this.. just in case..).

I understand the issue with me suggesting Fontana Village.. And when i first post it here (if my memory serves), was mearly a suggestion asking for help! Just as I can't control those who drink on their own time during the 3 days(or more), I can not force people to stay certain place. I think I was pretty clear back than that I was asking for help by everyone staying at fontanna as i would have better pull with them if there were more people staying... and again, it wasn't to force people.. just hoping some people wil support the event and helping me! I think there were many miscommunication among us... and I think its probably better we drop this issue..

Again, i appologize to RRDI members if you thought I was out of line posting on your thread..

Herblenny

iTrader: (13)

Again, I appologize if some of you felt that I might of escalated some of the situations..

Also, my intention of DGRR is so that we all meet in person and get along with other rotorheads.. My past few years on the internet has been quite a lesson for me. Learned that people can't quite express their ideas and feeling well... Maybe recent situation was just that...

Hope to see some of you in couple of weeks!

PHIL

AntiVenom7

I think the overall problem about that, and the other issues that we've had is this: One person takes it on themselves to voice and opinion, or idea, and sometimes that makes it seem as though it is law. We need to make sure that our ideas, are viewed more as suggestions than as an absolute dictum.

I think I fell victim to this during this year mansion ordeal, and Bert fell victim to it with his request/order for others not to bring alcohol to the event.

Each one of us should be able to voice their opinion/ideas, but we need to remember that it carries no more authority than that. Ideas should be left to a general consensus from the group, before the route is decided on.

PerkyStina

I knew this was why you had come here to begin with, and I believe it was easier for me to see your intentions behind your words because very few in the RRDI understood the importance of getting a group discount and saving everyone money. Your intentions were to help EVERYONE out so this event was as inexpensive as possible-- as most of us who volunteered to help with DGRR 2007 were aware. However there were those who did not understand this reasoning, and it is very natural for us as humans to get defensive if we feel we are being attacked.

mrthundercleese

Will do. I think I left my phone at work haha so If you call it you won't get me at least until later on today when I can stop by and pick it up.

I had no problems with it .

PerkyStina

Well said.

Let's all take this as a personal improvement lesson and think about what our real goal is behind everything we say. Think about how the recieving party will feel or interpret what we are trying to present.

Everything else will fall into place. I <3 you guys. lol

PerkyStina

Okay. I am working until noon and then I am going to be at home... feel free to call me whenever. I'll call you and leave a message.

mrthundercleese

At work, we call this phase postmortem .